Truth or Dare Is the Writer's Game
With another cherry blossom, because flowers always tell the truth.
I have learned over the years that my opinions were not mainstream, and that there could be Consequences if I wasn’t more careful about sharing them. Long story short however: some of my opinions were crap, and I didn’t know it. How embarrassing.
Over time, my understanding of my own opinions has changed quite a bit. When I was <cough> younger, I was quite sure that I was always the smartest person in the room, but that turned out to be both true and not true. Yes, I was smart; no, I did not often check my work. So step one in my rehab was to understand that smart is only useful if you employ some degree of rigor in finding out what to believe. But I also learned that even if I was right about something, it was common that a) I could not convince anyone of my observation, and b) some people would react violently to the truth.
Over the decades, I came to realize that I was smart in some things, and an utter tosser in others. Further refinements in both my understanding of life and my sharing of that occurred.
Finally, somewhere in the last 15 years, I discovered that I am in truth just another kind of idiot, that in fact we are all idiots of various shades and degrees, and that tender care must be exercised in most of what one believes. (Never mind that the exact opposite is what most often occurs.)
Key fact: I learned that the human mind does most of its 'thinking' by simply applying the nearest or most convenient bias. This is widespread, and for anyone who hasn't yet discovered this fact, I'm sorry, it's likely going to hurt when you do...
Let’s not just skip over that: the human mind does most of its ‘thinking’ by simply applying the nearest or most convenient bias.
Out of that comes another critical realization: some things are uncomfortably true, thus infrequently believed, almost never understood, and are often met with bellicose derision from many. (Race would be one example where strong, idiotic beliefs are common.)
This is where courage, careful study, kindness, and self-knowledge are required just to begin a conversation, and of course nearly all conversations about such things bring none of those things to the table. 🙁 But that also means that I finally know what it is important to talk about. 😉
So I have come full circle. I no longer think in terms of who in the room is smart; I wonder who in the room has integrity—that is someone I can talk with. As for the hoi polloi, well, when I have to yell, I can certainly yell. But mostly I try to take Mark Twain's approach, which can be summed up at the surface as: mostly saying nothing, but when you must speak, yell, because it's as if they are deaf; and entertain, because it's a powerful crowbar and you can use it to pry open a mind sometimes, and when that doesn't work, it's great for cracking metaphorical heads. Many many times, however, the very best argument turns out to be silence, and a broken heart visibly shared.
It’s truly sad that truth is rare; the truth, “I care,” is always worth a share.